It's always a weird feeling, standing in front of a blank canvas, idea in head and no concept of how to get it out. So I just stand and stare for a while and then do something, anything that will get my hand moving.
The thing with inertia is that, for me, it needs to be ignored. It's so seductive to just let things slide in my head, down, down and down to some pointless and unfeeling place where it will squat like a germ, infecting everything around it.
So, time to make some movements. Paint, write, tidy, read, hang out washing. Just move and hopefully things get back into the fluid stream that is clear and runs freely.
It's a hot day today. Bright sky and scorching sunshine. Everything looks parched, not just plants but the air has a thirst about it. When I am outside I feel the air suck at my skin, taking the moisture.
I hung out the washing and expect it to dry in half an hour.
Yesterday was an epic shit work day. It ended with me talking to the tax office which, as you can imagine, is always unpleasant - even if the reason for ringing them is not anything dramatic.
I went to body pump class in the late afternoon and had planned to do a core class after it. However, halfway through pump class I realised that not only had I not eaten much for the day, I had not eaten for five hours and felt quite awful. After the class finished I waited for ten minutes to gather some strength and then headed home and glugged down a protein shake for recovery.
Later that evening K and I went out to a Polish restaurant. I had borscht soup which was nice but the serve was quite large and the protein shake was still sitting in my stomach. Plus, there is a limit to how much liquid beetroot one can consume. It seemed never ending. But the place was nice, food was good and it was just great to be out and about. If I had the money, I would eat out all the time.
This morning I awoke at about 4.30 am and that was it for the night. I think that is okay as long as I have a few solid hours sleep prior to that and I feel that is happening more often. Maybe my body clock is changing. Heaven forbid should I suddenly become an early bird. My life will never be the same.
My day has been a mix of reading the newspaper, doing laundry, heading down to the shops and attempting to start a painting. After I do this post I have to pack my son's bag as he is going to music camp for three days and is leaving tomorrow at 8.30 am. There's going to be lots of practice for two days and then playing at some schools near where they are staying. I think he is going to practice more in two days than he has done in two months. It should do him good. This year he is enjoying music more because he is playing with students who want to play and not those who have to play so the atmosphere is so much better.
I then have to organise my stuff for tomorrow as we are doing a big 20km hike and it's going to be another very hot day. Fortunately we are under shade for a lot of it but it's uphill and my legs are feeling the fear as I type this. Because we are walking I decided to give the body pump class a miss this afternoon.
Next week I am starting boot camp at the gym. For no reason other than wanting to add something to the mix of exercise. So, boot camp, body pump, walking. I think that is varied enough for now. I'll either collapse from exhaustion or look like Arnie after six weeks.
Tonight K and I are taking Mr Benny down to the beach. He is due for a mad run there. Then he will come home and collapse on the kitchen floor.
Today I was in the studio with S and I asked him if he would move back to the spare room with his Xbox when my niece moves out one day. To which he replied "no". He loves it in here. It's away from the house, nice and quiet and he loves the chair.
He must love it as he is prepared to share it with his mother.
Or, should I say, I am prepared to share it with him.
Have to remember that....it's my studio.
Not his Xbox room.