Thursday Night

I have the day off tomorrow.  Benny was neutered today and is a bit sore and sorry.  So someone has to be home to look after him.  As it turns out K is home too and said it would be okay for me to go to work after all but since I am already in "day off" mode I have no intention of going in.  Besides, I did a load of work to allow for not being in.

Poor Benny has to wear one of those big plastic collars for ten days.  He is none to happy about it but has not the sense to leave his stitches alone so he shall just have to be a bit whiny for a while.  They call the collar an Elizabethan collar.  As it is made of plastic it must be the modern version.  I wonder if that had one made of ruffles.

Tonight I had a conversation with K about how much it is costing me now I have dropped two outdoor exercise classes and picked up the gym membership.  The gym is $20 per week.  The one hour outdoor session on a Monday is $20.  When I did three a week they were $14 each but now I have dropped back to one it has gone up.  I am going to have to drop the Monday.  I kind of hate it.  Not even kind of.  I just don't enjoy it and now I really don't enjoy it because it is costing me as much as the gym.  Then I started to feel anxious about the fact I was going to have to tell her that I am dropping the Monday as well.  

I contemplated sending an email but I will just tell her on Monday that August will be the last month of doing it.  Emails are easy but sometimes I think it is better for me to deal with the anxiety and just handle it like a grown up.  Isn't it strange how something like that can be so difficult and yet I have not trouble with things that would really bother other people (like public speaking).

Now I have decided to tell her this Monday I feel a bit better and will be able to put the thought aside until then rather than let it eat away at me.

I did a body pump class tonight.  It was at 7.30 pm and the place was packed.   Outside was raining and cold and as I drove home the song "Here Comes The Sun" by the Beatles was playing in the car and I thought how wonderful music is.  How some songs sound so beautiful no matter how often we hear them.  Because the song was on I took a longer way home so that I could listen to it twice through.

Today the vet told us that Benny needed to lose 2kg's.  I was gobsmacked. Me!  Of all people!  My dog is overweight.  Me who is anal about food and knows the calorie value of everything I eat.  Me who never eats without mentally adding up what number value the food is and offsetting the days food against it.  Me who knows how much my clothes weigh so that I can take that into account when I jump on the scales.

Our last Border Collie was a slinky dog that did not put on weight.  The vet said that some dogs hold the weight more than others. Bit like people I suppose.  Benny is a stocky build and a big dog for his age so he just might be one of those dogs that has to be food restricted a bit.  The breeder told me that Benny's grandmother is a dog that always comes into the kitchen when the fridge door is opened.  Benny is the same.  I also have to keep reminding myself to shut the pantry door because he will sniff out food and eat it.  When I am sitting at the table he sits next to me with his head on my lap waiting for the tiny crumbs I share with him.  If I am eating toast I will give him things like bits of carrot to chew.  I am sure he thinks he is getting some of my food.

I think my dog is going to be one of those "always hungry" dogs and I am going to have to manage it.

Another pet in the house is my son's lizard.  It is a funny thing how a parent (me) somehow finds themselves involved in the rearing of a pet (lizard).

The lizard gets fed every second day.  My son would feed it a few mealy worms and that is it however a lizard needs fibre and variety so we have to add grated apple, some greens and even a bit of soft dog food.  All of that is obviously too complicated for my son.  Every time he is about to go to bed he suddenly needs to go to the toilet and then yells out "Oh, mum, Gummy needs to be fed.  Can you do it?".  And me, being a mother, feeds lizard.   If I asked S to do it himself he would so it is not like he won't.  I just do it because I am a softy.

But it is nice to feed the lizard anyway.  Sometimes S and I sit together and watch it eat.  I do know it does not like banana but is very keen on celery leaves and grated apple.

One thing I never do is clean the lizard tank.  I have my limits.

So tomorrow off will be a productive day.  I actually have a lot of things to do and one of them is to renew my drivers licence which is a month expired.  My father once drove with his licence expired for years.  I think he pleaded old age or something when it was brought to light when he was picked up for a random breath test and then got it sorted.  Were I get to be picked up today I would get a fine and demerit points.

Renewing my licence means I have to get a new photo taken.  Oh, how I love those photos.  They always make me realise how I have aged.  It must be ten years since it was renewed and I look completely different.  Totally.  Personally (and surprisingly) I think I actually look better.  Hopefully the new licence will reflect that belief.  Ha ha.  I may well be completely deluded.  But I shall take extra care when doing my hair and make up.  The last thing I want is a bad hair day to be captured for posterity on my licence for the next ten years.

I also have to buy new towels.  Since my son started having a shower every morning I realise that we do not have enough towels.  Especially in winter.  I keep washing them and then trying to dry them.  I don't use the clothes dryer for them as they then get soft and don't dry as well.  Plus using the dryer is so costly.

The last time I purchased towels it was the most agonising process as there are TOO MANY CHOICES.  I have, however, been working hard at doing less thinking when buying things like towels.  Over thinking is as bad as under thinking.  It bogs me down and I can feel like I am galvanised by the inability to make a decision on things because there are so many options. I think therapy has been very beneficial in helping me with that problem.  It is a big thing for me to think less.  It feels like I am letting go of something.  I can't really explain it properly.

The one thing I don't have to make a choice on is the colour of the towels.  White.  I only get white towels.  White bed linen.  Then I don't have to think too much.  It is a bit like my t-shirts.  Black.  Also black pants.  Black dresses.  Black socks - fifteen pairs of exactly the same socks.  Makes life easier.

Well, it is now time for bed.  My Benny is in his crate with his Elizabethan collar surrounding his head like a halo.  I hope he sleeps well.

And I hope I do too.

Ciao
LC