It's Wednesday and the month of June is drawing to a close. End of financial year. July is the really busy month. Although, these days every month is busy.
Last night I woke up from a weird dream and stayed awake for over two hours. I hate that. Middle of the night and no urge to sleep. I just lay there with my eyes closed. Over the years I have learnt to never allow uncontrollable thoughts to roam the night time brain. I tend to just think over the previous day or what I want to work on in the studio. Often I go through what I am going to do the next day which actually helps organise things when I do actually arrive at work.
The dream I had was kind of funny. I had to go to the toilet. Oh, wait, should I say lavatory? Or dunny. Whatever. In this dream I was sitting on the toilet and reached for the roll of toilet paper only to find that it was made of very rough brown paper and I could not unroll it. Then I dropped it and it rolled far away. Over to the door and when I went to get it I could not get off the seat. Obviously at that point the dream was too traumatic and I awoke with a start.
Bizarre as it seems I often have dreams where I am in a bathroom or near a toilet. What on earth that is about I don't know. And the room is often very large. I have had dreams where the toilet paper is just out of reach. Obviously I live in fear of running out of toilet paper. You can bet that in our house there is usually twenty plus rolls of the stuff in the linen cupboard.
This week I quit my outdoor exercise group. Yep. After five years I just really accepted that I was sick of it. It took some agonising though and on Monday I had a semi tantrum about having to go and it dawned on me that I actually was ready to move on to something different. Five years of going three or four times a week at the same time must have finally gotten to me. So now I will join a new local gym next month. I guess I got tired of being tied to certain times to train and being outdoors at night over the winter months. So now I can walk Mr Benny each night for an hour and do some weights, go to a few classes at the gym and just be a bit more flexible. The trainer was a bit shocked I left but I think she understood the reasons.
I have been using the light therapy box each morning. Does it make a difference? I think it has. In fact, yesterday I think I overdid it. Unfortunately I can be a bit of a "less is good, more is better" person and I doubled the usage time and the strength of the gadget. I did this also because I was dubious about whether or not it would work. So after four days of doing that I noticed yesterday that I was particularly agitated and silly. I was reciting Spike Milligan and intermittently saying "Folks are dumb where I come from" in a high pitched voice. And staring. A lot. Also fidgeting a lot. Maybe the light did it. Maybe not. Today I am very free in the head and still very silly. Very excitable in the same way my dog is. It's a bit annoying but I am working very well.
Tomorrow my son is going on his overnight hike. He initially said he would walk and sleep in the same clothes so would not need to carry a change of clothes. Then he realised that if his clothes got wet he may be in a bit of trouble. So he is taking a change of clothing and thermal pj's. Last night he said he only needed his hoody to keep him warm under a rain jacket. Then he got up this morning and complained about being cold. So tonight after work I will pick up some stuff for him to wear. Nothing worse than being cold and not having the means to warm up.
He also thinks he won't need to eat much. I think he is trying to be frugal with what he has to carry as his back pack is heavy. It is slowly dawning on him that he is going to have to carry a lot. One litre of water weights 1kg and he needs to carry about four litres for drinking and cooking. The pack itself is fairly heavy.
And he has to go to the toilet in the bush. Ha ha. God knows how he will cope with that one. He takes ages in the toilet at home - you can bet that he will be very quick if he has to bare his bum in the bush in the freezing cold. I should not laugh but there is a little part of me that is having a bit of a giggle. He will have a great time recounting his experiences I am sure.
Last night he and I went for an hour's walk with Mr Benny. It is really nice walking with S as he has a lot to talk about. Teenagers are so refreshing and full of life. I love how they see the world in their crazy way. I know the world is so different to what I grew up with and maybe I see things are more complicated these days but this world is his and will hold the same level of wistful nostalgia that mine does.
It's so chilly outside. Grey skies and an icy wind. Even though the office is warm, my feet feel cold after walking outside to get the mail. Our office turtles are in hibernation, only moving when disturbed. When I look at them I feel sorry for their wet existence. Please don't let me come back as a turtle with the human awareness gene.
I am doing this post in between other work. So I suppose I should finish it off and knuckle down. I have a rather dull pile of work to churn through.
Sometimes I think that life has suddenly become different but I am not sure exactly how.
I think I am just feeling myself getting older.