Yesterday we had a public holiday for Anzac Day so it was a day at home from work for me.
K spent the first half of the day driving a war veteran in the Anzac march in the city which was a very nice thing to do. His car was not the only one used, many vintage car owners had been asked to volunteer their time for this service.
I woke up feeling over tired and very flat. I loathe the "down" that I seem to go through an awful lot. That chronic low feeling that hovers around in the background like a second black shadow. Still, I ignored the feeling to lay in bed for the rest of the day and got up to see furry Benny and make his breakfast. Then I made a list of the things I wanted to do that day so that I had a sense of obligation to keep me from falling into a bigger funk.
I did allow one slack concession and that was to not wash and blow dry my hair. Sounds lame doesn't it? Allowing oneself to have unwashed hair for one day. But washing and blow drying my hair is a process that reminds me that I am on track. Like putting on make up and dressing in clean clothes.
I made Anzac biscuits and then a banana cake which took up the morning. Cleaned up the kitchen and played with Benny. In between all that I did some laundry and fed my son. K came home at midday.
By the afternoon I was so tired as I had slept poorly the night before. The wet weather outside along with the warmth of the house found me nodding off in the chair. I ended up going to bed quite early and sleeping about ten hours only waking up once. However, did not feel very refreshed. You just can't win with sleep sometimes.
The night beforehand K and I had taken Benny to dog training. The drive there was awful. Heavy rain and equally heavy traffic slowed the trip to a snail's pace and we were late. Benny whined the entire way in the car and I was anxious. When I rang the dog trainer she reassured me that it was okay and that enabled me to chill a bit.
When we got there, one of Benny's litter siblings was there and they had a play together. It was chaotic. Puppy excitement. Then along came two others siblings and there was fun for all. Benny did not look like any of the others. Obviously he had the border collie markings but he was much, much bigger than them and whilst their fur had started to lengthen his still looked like a woolly lamb. I hope it changes otherwise I will have a walking black and white lamb for a dog.
He was naughty. Kept trying to dominate the others. Would not sit still. Got into trouble. Interestingly enough he was the meek pup of the litter when small but was now the big boss dog and felt the need to prove it. The trainer sorted him out a few times. Both K and I have some extra training to do to ensure he does not become an aggressive dog as he gets older.
Now he had had his immunisations we can take him for walks and he loves that. Only around the block for now and no more than twenty minutes at a time until he gets older.
We have had a few things happen in puppy land. Toilet paper has been grabbed from the roll and wound around the room more than once. Got into my make up and chewed my make up brushes. Cushions pulled off the furniture. The usual things that teach the humans to shut doors and put things away.
He gets pigs ears to chew on as a treat but after a short time he just goes outside and buries them. It is getting a bit expensive now. I think there are twenty outside somewhere. Anyway, last night I was sitting on the lounge room floor and Benny came in from outside and sat behind me chewing on what I thought was a toy. After a couple of minutes I noticed a really foul smell and without looking behind me I said to K "What is Benny chewing. It stinks?". It was a mouldy, stinky, unearthed pigs ear. The smell was vile.
"Get it off him," I directed and followed the instruction by dry retching.
Do you think the dog was going to give it up easily? It was a fair job getting it out of his mouth. Firstly, K did not want to touch it and, secondly, Benny did not want to give it up. It was too funny for words. Poor Benny had to give up his tasty rotten pigs ear for a boring old rope toy. He must have felt very disappointed at that.
He has not been at work so much. K is able to get home during the day. It is hard having him at work as he does tend to distract me and I feel very guilty that he may be affecting my productivity which leads to me getting very anxious things are not how they should be.
To tell you the truth, he does enjoy being at home more I think at this point.
So, this weekend I have no plans. Nor the weekend after.
I can get back to the land of living and hopefully feel reconnected with things. Attend to my neglected friends. Even my bestie friend in the UK I have not spoken to for so long and feel very sad about that. I hope she is going to forgive me for being unavailable so much.
My time is my time again for now and I intend to enjoy it.
There is a lot to catch up on.