SLACK!
That's me today.
Not really slack. Just slipping into the Christmas mood and relaxing a bit.
I am at work and doing a blog. It's been a while since I did that - I think.
I have the concentration span of a pea today. Yesterday I used up all my care factor and now it has disappeared. I think it is because I am waiting for a big cheque to clear in the bank at work which then allows me to pay the things that need paying before Christmas.
Or I am just slack.
Have fiddled with FB. My son is at home and put a post on his wall that said;
Alright.
Inbox me a question and I will answer honestly.
Doing it for the entire day because I'm bored.
So I sent him a question which was "is it better to be an anarchist or a minarchist? Which works best in a modern society?" I know that is really two questions but it is kind of one question broken into two sentences. I think I could have worded it into one question.
He replied with "Minarchist. You don't get into as much trouble, and it's much less dangerous than being an anarchist".
Does that mean he is a consequences kind of person?
He is pretty funny these days. On Monday he picked up his report in school and brought it home. Although his behaviour is excellent in class I am afraid he did not do as well as I know he could have. The usual "could try harder" line came up.
My husband and I discussed it and he and I have different views on it all.
My parenting style is fairly free and, rightly or wrongly, I think S will find his niche when he is ready. He is only 14.5 years old and it is easy to forget that because he looks and sounds much older.
K is concerned that S is a lazy sloth and does not engage enough with school activities, has to be hounded to have a shower, yelled at to get out of bed, bullied into doing any homework, reminded all the time to practice his clarinet and is addicted to the computer and Xbox. He is concerned that when he gets out in the working world he will not do well.
I think differently and wonder if I am deluded in my thinking. In my mind S is a normal teenager and is not hard wired yet which means his brain is so different to that of a dull adult. He is obsessive about things when they appeal, he does whatever I ask him (hang out washing, empty dishwasher, make his bed, pick up his washing) and he talks to both K and I so openly about anything. He He has good emotional mindset and is very good at expressing his feelings if he feels the need. I think the way his mind works will ensure he will navigate his way through life pretty well.
I guess the next few years will show if our parenting was okay or not.
When you have a child you realise that whatever ideas you had about parenting are very quickly dispelled. Although for me, it may have been a bit different. From the age of five until I left home at 19 I had to look after kids. My brother, my sister, my nieces, my nephew. From nappy changing to feeding and beyond, I spent years with a child to look after and I often wonder if that gave me different outlook on being a parent as opposed to someone who had some sort of nurturing idealistic view of motherhood. I did not resent it at all, I just had a very realistic idea of the impact that children have on a persons life.
Hence the reason I have only one child....
Anyway, there is a point in time where a parent sees themselves in their own child. My son is very similar to me. In fact, sometimes I feel very sorry for my husband having both S and I to contend with. That is not to say that there is anything wrong with either S or myself, but there is a particular personality at work that can be irritating. My son refers to it as the "M------N" gene at work (using my maiden name). It makes me wonder if it is in the genes or is it a direct influence from me?
The other thing you realise is that a child comes to an age where you cannot just force them to do things they don't want to. I can't say to my son "I want you to do better at school next year" and expect him to just do better for me. He has to have the "want" within himself. I have to hope that whatever groundwork has been put down over the past is going to work.
Oh, gosh, I just bored myself. Time to stop.
What's this post all about?
Work avoidance? Yes, that is it.
Seriously, it is all about the meaning of life.
And with that in mind I sent my son another question to answer.
"What is the meaning of life?"
His response?
"Ponies"
Ha ha ha.
That's my little Brony.
Ciao
LC
7 Squeaks:
Cute post - you're not slacking at blogging! It sounds like you're doing a good job with your son - he's open with you and is emotionally mature. That's way more important at his age than being a bit lazy - ALL teenagers are lazy. Like college kids. I MISS being that lazy, I really do. I bet he'll turn out great
Yes, it has been a long time since you have posted from work in a playful way.
You posed a question to your son that required some thought and he replied in kind. Very good.
Your son is a typical teenager. I was the same. He does what interests him. Do you see your self in him? There are always some similarities with one parent or another. Some show later in life.
As far as the work force goes, there are more jobs being created each day that were not there years ago. It will be interesting what he chooses down the road, or what chooses him.
There is a natural inclination to test the limits of what a parent will put up with. That will change over time.
As a parent, you do the best you can, whatever that may be, and hope for the best for your son.
There are more choices today then when I was growing up, but they are still choices.
Your son sounds similar to mine, but mine didn't advance as far in his education as I'd have liked. He now works and has a good attitude. I tell myself he has plenty of opportunity to study further if and when he thinks it desirable. I do wish I'd pushed him a bit more but he is far happier in the workforce than he was at school. He too is a decent, thoughtful person, and he has a long-term girlfriend I'm overly fond of (what if they split up - aagh) so something went right. He's potentially going the longer and harder way about his education, I guess, but he does have a brain and I hope something sometime fires his imagination and he puts it to good use.
Gia: Thanks! When you think about it, being young and carefree is such a short time. So lazy should be embraced totally. Emotional maturity is definitely more important that cleaning up his bedroom.
RJ: I do see myself in him. And you are right, who knows what jobs will be around when he is ready to work. The world is ever changing as far as that goes.
I think people are just a product of the era. Basic human emotions don't change but the world in which people function does and they adapt accordingly.
Jebaru: I could never have stayed at school longer than I did and studied later in life. Work was a great thing for someone like me. Not everyone wants to do that academic thing.
Your boy sounds like a good young man. What else can a parent ask for.
I try to push my son but I do have to be realistic. I know too many people who were pushed too hard and are quite resentful about it later in life.
Parents just can't win sometimes.
Now I am thinking like a father. I think K looks at it in a practical manner that S should be showing an idea of what he will be doing down the road and if he knows what it takes to achieve that goal. In the work place it is tough to succeed and he is concerned about S's success. That being said, it is rare and difficult for a teenager to know what he wants to be when he grows up.
I see so much of myself in my youngest, but as she is in that horrible teenaged rebellious "I can't stand my mom" stage, she refuses to acknowledge any similarities whatsoever. But it's still there. :)
She comes by it all very honestly.
RJ: funnily enough, when K was younger his father worried about him and how he would cope in the big world. Who knows what jobs will be around in five years? I think in year 10 at school they get more into careers. So, we'll maybe know more then. He does, however, want to do part time work soon. That is a good sign.
Karen: I imagine girls to be hard work when teenagers. Boys just grunt. Girls can be bitchy. Oh, I imagine the last thing she wants to be told is that she is like her mother. Eeeew.
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