Holiday Chat

On Christmas day my younger sister came down from Queensland to stay with us. While we are away she will stay in our house with her two sons.

I have not seen her since mid 2006 so it was just great to have her around. We share many similar traits one being the ability to talk non stop when we are together.

We are like two monkeys let out on a field trip when we are in the same room. Chatter, chatter and more chatter. Although, she did say to me that I analyse everything too much and take things personally too often. But I was rather anxious in the lead up to the holiday.

My boss ended up driving us to the airport after he heard that we were planning to take a train and then a bus rather than a taxi.

I was grateful for his offer as after making the decision to take my laptop I was compelled to carry the great lump of a thing on my shoulder. My husband had made disapproving noises about the presence of the laptop on a holiday and said that under no circumstances was I to ask him to carry it.

As if! I never ask anyone to carry anything for me ever. But now that I am using it from the confines of a hotel room (at great expense) I am very pleased it is with me.

Oh, and K has used it for his internet banking and checking of emails.....


Here is a photo of S and I at the airport about to head into the international departure area.


Those who travel will know that there is a lot of "in between" stuff that is never mentioned in glossy brochures.

Lots of waiting. And when you take a flight from Australia to London the waiting is a constant activity. Waiting around at the airport. Waiting around in the transit lounges. Waiting for the flight to finish.

Transit lounge waiting is usually about three or four hours when we do the long haul flight. After an eight hour flight you step out of the plane feeling very tired and disoriented. This is usually followed by a vague meander through duty free shops you find your way in the lounge near the departure gate.
We had a three hour wait in Kuala Lumpur airport. Modern, clean and full of bright lights and static air. The seats were littered with sleeping bodies including those of my husband and son. I did not get to sleep as I was the designated bag watcher. Instead I watched people and worked on keeping my heavy lidded eyes open. My mind was confused with tiredness.

Prior to getting on the plane in Melbourne I decided to buy myself a good trashy book to read. It had to be thick and of dubious literature importance since I knew I would be leaving it behind somewhere. So, I found this book. It turned out to be over seven hundred pages of misery.

Essentially the story went like this. Woman turning forty, married with three children, perfect house and husband (who earns loads of money). Meets man half her age and has regular rumpy pumpy with him. Mistakes mind blowing orgasms for true love and then abandons family (without any explanation) and runs off with young lover to live a life of regular rumpy pumpy (and abject poverty). Comes to a climactic end with both of them dying miserably.

Of course she is thin and beautiful as well.

Now I do admit there was lots of soul searching in the story (also known as navel gazing) but the whole thing was a rather depressing chicklit read.

When I was on the plane it dawned on me that I had booked the hotel for our arrival on the 28th when in fact we were arriving on the 29th. I panicked and said to K that the hotel might think we are not coming and then book our room out to someone else and we won't have anywhere to stay.

He said to me that we always book the day before so that we can go straight up to the room when we get there (usually about 8.00 am) rather than wait until 2.00 pm check in time.

Seriously, I know I made a mistake when I booked but my husband just thinks it was awfully clever of me to book the day before. It turned out all well as when we got to the hotel I was dying for a shower and breakfast.

Now we are getting used to the cold and almost over jetlag.

So, that is it for now.

Ciao
LC

London

Arrived in London.

Is wet and cold but lovely as well.

Will be blogging soon.

When I wake up properly that is.

Ciao

LC

Holiday

Well, tomorrow I will be getting on the plane and heading off to London.

It is very cold in London right now but I think I have enough warm things to get me by for a couple of days.

If I need warmer things, well, I will just have to do some shopping when I get there.

My lap top is coming with me so I will do some blogging now and then.

So, five nights in London and then off to York for three nights.

After York we will be making our way South West and expect to catch up with a blogging buddy which I am looking forward to very much.

I shall meet her hens and have a nice cup of tea when we catch up.

Now I shall pack my computer away and double check that all we need is packed down.

And make room for my hair dryer.

And my make up.

I am a bit excited.

Ciao
LC

Mr Whippy

When I was a little girl we would always love to hear the tinkling sound of the Mr Whippy icecream van coming down the street.

I would run out with coins in hand and buy a creamy icecream cone that was dipped in chocolate. If the van sold gelato I would choose that instead.

For years the vans went out of fashion and then, a few years ago, they started appearing on the streets again.

We have one that comes by our house most weekends.

I hear his tinkling tune and I know he will go slow enough to allow me time to grab some money and run outside to stand in the front of the house and wait for him.

The pink and white van stops at the kerb and the driver gets up and opens the window all smiles and greetings.

We talk for a couple of minutes about the weather or, as in the case today, about Christmas, family and children.

He is Greek. Came out to Australia in 1971 and has lots of grandchildren. He spent Christmas with his daughter and was going to head off tomorrow down to the coast and spend a few days with friends eating, drinking and celebrating the end of the year.

If there is nobody else waiting we talk about the old days when ice got delivered on the doorstep and you could only get pizza in Lygon Street.

Then I make my choices. Chocolate dipped icecream with candy sprinkles for my son and husband and gelato in a wax paper cup for me.

Sometimes a few neighbourhood children run out as well and wait patiently behind me. I am reminded of my own childhood as I look at them. I feel happy for them as I watch their eyes moving over the gaily painted pictures of icecream choices on offer.

I know that everything is busy and life is fast paced and society is full of tension and simmering anxiety. We all feel it, kids feel it without knowing what it is they are feeling.

But that Mr Whippy van just brings forth the most wonderful mixture of peace, excitement and sweet happiness as it comes down the side streets on a sunny day.

It is just all good that goes with it.

Ciao

LC

Christmas

After a busy couple of weeks leading up to Christmas it was nice to stop and just relax.

Christmas eve was spent doing some cooking for dinner. I celebrate Christmas on the 24th as my background is Danish. My brother and his family came over and we ate nice food and delicious desserts before opening presents.

This morning, it is the other Christmas so S gets to unwrap some more presents. It is cute to watch. High speed unwrapping and great excitement. My son does not ask for much at Christmas. Just books usually and perhaps a gift voucher from a shop so anything he gets on top of that is really appreciated.

My Boss gave me money to buy a new camera for going overseas. It was a combined Christmas/Birthday gift and I was so pleased. So I bought a Canon G11 and took some photos of Christmas decorations just for fun.

I need to work on how to keep my reflection out of the big baubles. Fortunately I am not nekked so it is only a hazy reflection of me in my pyjamas.

I know they do talk about global warming and all the damage it is doing long term. How about doing something about excess packaging. You need to go to gym to open these sealed plastic packages that things come in. Not only that, even using scissors is fraught with danger as they can suddenly poke through the plastic with all the force of you body weight behind it.

Most aggravating.

My son reading one of his favorite books "The Guinness Book Of Records.

And a close up shot of me taken by my husband with my new camera.

I love how digital is beyond honest.

So, that was my little Christmas.

I want to wish everyone a lovely and peaceful Christmas and if you don't celebrate Christmas I hope you enjoy the holiday season.

Ciao

LC

Letter To Something I Love

Dear Chocolate

I love you.

Even though you make me sick in my tummy when I eat even a bit of you , I still love you.

I love you no matter the colour you are. Although, I do love you just that bit more when you are dark and bitter, suffused with hint of orange tang.

I love the accessories you come with be it nuts, sultanas, liqueur or little bits of chili.

I love you when you are cheap.

I love you even more when you are rich.

I love seeing you in a little box, wrapped up and ready to eat.

I love staring at you and your many friends at the counter in that place called Chocolate.

I love to eat you.

I love to drink you.

I love to pop you in my mouth and let you melt before I swallow you to make room for another one of you.

I even love you a bit when you are destined for the pantry to be added to a cake. You are really cheap then, but when I am desperate you still manage to satisfy me.

I love how many shapes you come in.

I love how freely available you are.

I love how I blame the bread I eat for my clothes getting tighter because I could never blame you.

You are too sweet and too small to be that bad for me.

I know you love me because you always want to be in my house to be eaten.

Isn't that the true sign of love?

Sacrifice?

That you give yourself up so freely to make me happy shows how much you love me.

Thank you, thank you.

Dear sweet darling chocolate.

Ciao
LC

Sunday Market

This morning S and I went off to a Farmer's market not far from us.

He moaned about having to go at first and then perked up when he realised he would be having a buffalo sausage in a roll for breakfast.

We didn't buy that much. But I did buy a "healthy" Christmas pudding. I know that sounds totally gross. I mean, how could have have a healthy one without the taste being compromised. However, I tasted it and it was very yummy. Okay, not quite as tasty as a nice fatty one but least I can eat it this year. No additives and no butter. Besides, once you smother it with creamy custard it will be great.

Which kind of defeats the whole healthy aspect to it now that I think about it.

We had to take a couple of photos of each other.

While I was sitting around and watching people come and go I realised how things have changed in my life in all sorts of ways.

When I first started blogging my son was about eight years old. He was involved with me a great deal. Loved coming to markets with me and rarely complained about going to the shops. We would go off to have a picnic or for a play in the park.

I knew that one day he would make a shift into his own self and want my company in a different way but now he is making that natural (and needed) move, I feel it. I feel it deep inside me and cannot quite put my finger on how to describe it.

Is is loss I feel or a sense of poignancy about the inevitable change that will take our relationship on a different level?

Is it loneliness? Is that gap that he filled with his constant presence what I feel. Do I feel a bit lost? I know I am needed so that is not it. I wonder if it is different if you have a daughter? Not that it matters, I am just curious.

All parents go through that stage of being needed in a more cerebral way. I am there in his mind but not there. I am wanted but on different terms. I am, along with my husband, merging into a background or the foundation on which he moves now. Just there providing support constantly but without him being overly aware.

He says things that tell me he is aware of so much now. He talks about music and how it makes him feel. About people's attitudes towards others and questions why people are they way they are. He has opinions and shares them but is also willing to listen to reason and reconsider his thoughts about things.

When he plays Xbox online I can hear him talking to other people. It is funny to listen to. For him it is natural to sit on the couch, headset on and speak to another person in another country. He makes jokes all the time. When the person on the other end swears my son says "Don't swear, it's boring and predictable". I am happy that he says that not because I don't want him to swear but because he has no problem asserting himself. It means he knows that there is a time and place for everything.

I can't stop noticing the change in him. Every day something new, something about his personality changes or he becomes more outspoken or insanely silly. It's great.

Life is so big for him now. I know that as he grows up he will come across all the peaks and troughs we all go through. He will feel great joy and utter sadness and wonder about the purpose of life along the way.

It must be like standing out in the middle of somewhere that you have never been and yet sense that it is a place that is also familiar. Feeling all the unknown wildness around and within and not know which way to move but feeling that every direction is a possible adventure.

It really is the great unknown to him.

Doesn't matter what others have experienced, his journey will be a different journey on that well worn trek down life's many roads. His responses to the signposts, the bumps and dips will be so personal and specific to who he is as a person.

When I think of it, I feel for him in every way.

Because I know he will feel everything along the way.

Ciao

LC

Saturday Night Chit Chat

I had to buy a party dress last night to wear to our work party. I hate "going out" dresses. I especially hate paying for them as they are always overpriced and you only wear them once or twice. In fact, this one I have on is now on EBay as I doubt I shall ever wear it again. It looks nice enough but it is completely useless.

Can you see how at ease I look wearing it......

When I got to the party I would say that I was hideously over dressed but did not care except I kept thinking I could have worn jeans and a groovy top and saved the money and bought something like a vintage Marcella bedspread or a wonderful lot of books.

The party was catered for and we used a group called Flying Woks. They serve entrees, main meals of noodles and a nice dessert. It was something different and pretty good value for what they did. But they served up a weird thing. It looked like and uncooked white bread roll. It was warm and sticky to hold. I took one bite and went "blech". It was filled with bean paste and was not very nice. I threw it in the bin and noticed that there were about a dozen others in there with a couple of bites taken out of them. Obviously not a popular item on this particular night. Still, have to say the rest of the food was great.

I ate and picked away at food. Drank a few mocktails and nibbled some lollies. I ate more than I normally do and also differently to the usual dull fare. Today I have been feeling like I ate a horse or something and have been a bit off colour. Too much odd food to process.

We got home at 11.30pm. I was exhausted and fell into bed like and slept like a log until 6.00am when the alarm went off. The rest of the day was spent in a semi stupor due to lack of sleep. It must be an age thing. As I did not drink I cannot blame it on alcohol. I was just plain old overtired. Right now I am looking forward to going to bed very soon.

My husband had a music job today and so S and I had to head out to get him some shoes for the overseas trip. The weather is cold over in the UK and a pair of runners just won't do the job when it comes to keeping feet warm.

His feet are now the same size as my husband's. I cannot reconcile myself to the fact that his big feet belong to his body and I kept asking if the shoes were too big. He reassured me that they fit perfectly. In the end he told me to stop asking.

After we bought what we needed we both got back into the car and S asked if we could have lunch somewhere. So off we went down to a lovely little shopping strip to get some yummy food. By this stage I was really feeling second rate. Warm car, bright sunshine behind the pale grey sky, headache starting to thump and a great urge to go to the toilet were making the prospect of a nice lunch very unlikely.

We pulled into the carpark, walked to the bakery and grabbed lunch and then went home. My plans to finish Christmas shopping today were put aside. I spent the rest of the day having the odd nap in between tidying up.

Earlier in the week I asked my son if he wanted to sit on Santa's knee this year. I was kind of surprised when he said he did. I mean, surely he cannot believe in Santa still? We don't talk about it really. He asked me once if there was Santa and I think I said something like "Oh, well, you know. It is one of those special traditions that just happen. Parents love him and so do kids. If you believe, you receive,". So, he must know but accepts the little story for what is good about it.

Anyway, this morning I asked him if he wanted to go today to see Santa. He looked at me and said "Ahhhh, no. No, I think twelve years of sitting on Santa's knee is enough." He said he thought about it really hard and decided he was too old for it now. I said it was fine by me.

I think I am quite lucky having even twelve photos of him sitting on Santa's knee!

He is definitely growing up.

Ciao
LC

Busy Week

I have had an extremely busy week at work.

Normally I don't work a full eight hour day but this week I have had to.

It means that everything else falls by the wayside.

This coming week I will work Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday getting the office ready for my long absence. We have money in and things are safe as far as wages go and work being up to date.

Next year I will be working a forty hour week and my husband and I have been talking about how to ensure that the important things don't get ignored.

We decided that housework, whilst being nice once done, is down the ladder of priority. After years of trying to always have the place spotless we are kind of past that and just do what needs doing and a bit extra when there is time.

I bought a very impressive "family calendar" that can be filled in with things that have to be followed up. Things like homework my son has to do, when assignments are due, music jobs my husband has, exercise classes and, most importantly, what good shows are on television.

The calendar looks great. I cannot wait to hang it up and pretend to be organised.

The first month of the year is the best.

Every day until the 23rd of January will be spent in another country.

And for all that time we will eat breakfast, lunch and dinner out and about.

The biggest decision I will make is what to eat or whether or not I can wear my socks four days in a row.

Am feeling a bit excited about it all.

Ciao
LC

Boy Hormones

My son has a poor body image.

He hates that he has a fat stomach.

And his round face.

And his chubby cheeks.

And his fat lips.

And his body odour.

He is going through a difficult stage. Getting clothes to fit right. And the fashion is all fitted shirts that show his stomach, which is maybe carrying a bit of fat but certainly not so much that he should be ashamed of it.

I wonder to myself if I have somehow infected his mind with my own hideous body image issues. It is possible. I mean, how can we tell the true impact of our behaviour on children.

So I ask him if I have contributed in some way to how he sees himself. He thought about it and then said no. But he felt I had contributed to his extra weight by the food I provided. To which I replied that I cannot control what he eats if I am not around and he randomly raids the fridge.

He then started to tell me that he is always hungry. But not so hungry that he will eat some fruit. Perhaps he is thirsty I suggest, or bored. He agreed. I explained about how easy it is to get into the habit of picking at food when bored and how efficient the body is in storing any unused energy.

What triggered this whole discussion was that I bought him a shirt to wear to his school lunch tomorrow. It was tight around his middle, only just. It made him self conscious. Then, after some discussion, he told me how much he hated his body and that he was worried that he would be like a kid in class who he hates and who happens to be very, very overweight.

The conversation started to get worse. He felt that his dad was always too busy for him. That I sat on the computer too much. That we did not do enough as a family. The list went on. He told me that he felt like crying.

Told me he got depressed about things. The environment, the government, anything and everything got him down if he thought too much about it.

"You are a thinker so you need to learn how far to dig when you are thinking. Sometimes you can think yourself into a hole. Try to balance the sad thoughts with some good thoughts," I said helpfully.

We talked about hormones and the effect they can have on him. The weight gain, the awkward body, the body odour and the pimples.

"It's not forever," I told him.

We got talking about how it was the same for me when I started high school. I loathed my round face. Was teased at school about my thick lips. Hated my fat body when I was twelve. My hairy legs. Hated smiling because it made my cheeks look chubby. He laughed about all that because it was exactly how he was feeling.

But there was one small difference. Actually, two.

He likes himself as a person whereas it took me forever to get to that place.

He has full support from his parents and I certainly cannot say the same.

When we were talking he told me that he had that feeling in his chest that happens when he feels sad. It was anxiety.

"That's maybe because you are talking about things that are emotional. And emotions can be difficult to face and then the anxiety starts. Learning to face and accept emotional ups and downs early in life is a good thing, no matter how uncomfortable it may be at the time," I explained.

We talked for about an hour or so. I sat on the end of his bed and listened to him. He listened to me.

"It's good to talk," he said.

"Yes, it is. Otherwise we cannot improve what goes on in our life," I replied.

At the end of it all he was happy. We sorted out what he would wear tomorrow and he went to sleep at ease.

But he did remind me that I had to expect him to be horrible and moody for the next few years.

I'm ready for it.

We are both ready for it.

I think.

Ciao
LC

Sunday Blab

Today my husband and I took our son and his friend to the movies.

It was quite complicated.

We went in separate cars so that at the finish of the movies my husband would pick up the boys and take them home leaving me to do some Christmas shopping.

So, my husband and I had some shopping time together and ended up spending one hour of that in a mobile phone shop upgrading our phones.

Interestingly, both mobile phones started to semi die in the past couple of weeks and I have had to use a dinosaur phone from work. I am sure that is timed so that when the contract runs out you are compelled to get a new phone and sign up again.

After the mobile phone fun we actually went together into a department store and I bought a dress. Yes, I bought a "going out dress" which is a rare thing for me. We have a work party this Friday and I just had absolutely zilch to wear. I tried on quite a few and all looked super in their own way but I went safe and bought a black one.

Once my husband left I was able to get on with the job of Christmas shopping.

I don't know what happens, but the moment I start Christmas shopping I forget everything I wanted to get. My mind gets foggy. I am sure the crowds and noise just make me zone out. I had to make phone calls to my brother's wife and back home to find out what things were on the wish list.

After three long hours I got back to my car and loaded the land fill into the back of it and headed home.

Where I then spent one shitful hour working out my new phone. My GPS did not work properly on the phone and it was the same with the last phone. I think it is something I did when I started to excitedly push buttons (after ripping open box).

Push, push, fiddle, push and more fiddling is bound to do some minor damage.

I have now left it because the GPS finally worked but apparently I am living in London right now so something is skewiff.

As I was in such a foul mood I went and mowed the lawn, hung out the washing, baked some Christmas cup cakes and then made dinner.

Now I plan to wrap some presents. All in brown paper and then decorated with cellophane flowers and other fun things. I love wrapping presents.

I have not yet told my son that he is about to come with me food shopping. Might wait until he has digested his food. The trauma of food shopping may upset him.

Earlier on today when we all got to the shopping centre we sat down to have a coffee. My husband and I were talking about something and I overheard my son and his friend chatting away.

Son to friend; "You know Harry Hunt at school?"

Friend to son; "Yeah."

Son to friend; "Does he have a brother called Mike?"

Followed by peels of laughter.

My husband looked at me as if to say "what have you been saying Linda?".

It took a while for the boys to calm down (and me as well).

I love how children are so full of silliness.

Even if it is a bit rude.

It is just so joyful.

Ciao
LC

Pearls Of Wisdom

Today my son and I went to the shops to pick up a couple of things.

We were sitting in the food mall having lunch and doing some people watching.

My son made a comment about life just racing by.

Then he said that he felt he had learnt so much already and there was more to learn.

I said that the learning process was never ending.

I then asked him if anything I had told him stuck in his mind as one day being helpful in making good choices one day.

He replied, without hesitation;

"Yeah, you bet. When you told me that a girl could get pregnant if she was on top. Lucky you told me that because I thought she couldn't and that might come in handy one day".

Oh.

Okay.

Ciao
LC

Socks

Lately life has been busier than usual and laundry duties have taken a nose dive as far as priority goes.

Won't even mention the state of the house this week!

Anyway, this morning my son complained that he could not find any clean socks.

Could it be because four pairs of the things were behind the couch where he decided to undress at night?

Let alone what was in his bedroom laying around on the floor - being aired out I presume.

Sure, my house is a wee bit untidy but I have to say that lazy son of mine can put his stinky socks in the wash himself.

Although, I actually think he does not see them once they leave his feet.

Hmmmm.

Ciao
LC

Can 'O' Worms

I really just want to say that the thing about what happens when one starts "Opening A Can Of Worms" really, really does apply to that well known golfer currently being featured in every newspaper at the moment.

Every time I read about it there is a new woman to add to the collection.

Everything about it is just awful.

Honestly, you could perhaps make an effort to understand one episode or even one regular person amongst the indiscretions.

But with so many coming out of the woodwork it just beggars belief.

It says something very, very disturbing about a man's integrity and state of mind.

All in all it is sad.

Ciao
LC

Oh, Okay.

The other day I was watching some morning television just before we went off to work and school for the day.

They were advertising some ab, butt, belly, booby, leg, thigh, hip busting muscle twirling ergonomic, core strengthening machine.

Which fits under the bed of course.

It looked almost dangerous.

Anyway, as usual the gym bunnies were using it with great success showing off their 13 percent body fat physiques.

The message was that if you use this machine for ten minutes a day you too can have a body like theirs.

My son said "That is stupid. you can be really fit and exercise and still have fat on you. You need to eat less to get that thin".

"How right you are", I replied vaguely.

And then he said "Look at you, you exercise and are fit and stuff but still have fat on you".

Gee thanks.

I might console myself with a lettuce leaf.

And lie under the bed.

Ciao
LC

Oh Christmas Tree

The other day we put up the Christmas tree.

Down it came from the storage area in the laundry, all the paraphernalia that goes with it as well.

As we started to put the tree together my son said that he felt like it was only yesterday that we did the exact same thing.

So now he notices the routine, the cycle, the order of life. The things we do that connect us with the ongoing human and societal process of living.

The longer I blog, the more I am aware of small traditions that I partake in.

This is not the first mention of the Christmas tree going up on my blog and it won't be the last.

I had to resist the urge to load the tree up with every decoration on hand as I am going to have to pack it up the day after Christmas because of the holiday we are going on on the 28th.

So it was a low key tree.

My husband suggested that we give the tree a miss this year. He often says things like that as he finds this time of year a thoroughly depressing time.

I can see his point and it must be difficult for those people who have nothing, are alone and feel very disconnected from what is going on around them. But I cannot help but love Christmas.

On a completely different note.

Today I took my son to buy his high school uniform. (See previous post outlining process of leaving house).

At the uniform shop he changed into the grey school pants, white shirt, tie and school jumper. I felt that pain in my chest that goes with loving him so much. He stood before me all awkward but also aware there was this big change happening.

I told him he needs to learn to do a Windsor knot in his tie. Later that day he went onto the computer to find out how to do it. K suggested just a normal knot but my son protested saying he was not having just any old knot in his tie. Together they worked it out.

He is growing up.

I am happy for him.

Ciao
LC

Here Is Your Answer

My son asked me why I shout sometimes.

And why I have an angry voice on.

Here is a standard example of why Mothers may shout.

Today's scenario:

Child is playing Xbox.

Mother has to get him organised to go with her to get his uniform for next year as she has such limited time before Christmas and then after Christmas is a holiday for four weeks and then when they get back from the holiday it is straight into work and even less time to get it then.

So Mother is a bit pushed for time.

Mother first asks Child to get off the Xbox.

"In a minute", comes the standard response.

Ten minutes pass and Mother tells Child to get off Xbox again.

Child repeats comment "in a minute".

Mother and Child have some dialogue over the next few minutes which causes Mother to shout and threaten no more Xbox for the next ten years.

This threat is followed by offended, hurt and surprised expression on Child's face.

Child then needs to go to toilet.

Mother knows toilet routine and thinks "WTF" and then tells Child to HURRY.

Child takes FIFTEEN MINUTES on the toilet during which time Mother shouts at him to hurry up and what on earth is going on that Child needs that long to take a DUMP. Mother is reminded of this post.

Child is most indignant at being hurried to have a crap.

Mother just sighs.

Child eventually finishes and gets into shower.

Mother has to tell him more than once to hurry.

Child takes ages to dry himself.

Mother has to tell him to hurry.

Child takes ages to get dressed.

Mother says hurry once again.

Child takes even longer to get shoes and socks on.

Hurry, hurry says totally fucked off Mother.

Incidentally, Mother has laid out all of Child's clothes for him to ensure that he does not waste another fifteen minutes in his bedroom.

Time between Mother telling Child to get off the Xbox and actually Child getting dressed?

FIFTY FIVE MINUTES!

And that is the reason why Mothers shout.

Ciao
LC

Thanks Doc!

Today I had a follow up appointment to see my gynaecologist.

This guy is a bit egocentric. Showed me his brand new watch he bought from Italy. Chatted about a few other things he had been doing. Asks me about my husband and holiday and if I am going business class on the trip. Tells me he always does the long haul flight in business class.

Should I be impressed? I am just thinking that I am paying for him to go business class.

So, there I am in the room with him answering a few questions and he directs me to hop up on the examination table so that he can have a look at his handiwork.

You know, I just hate the twat table. I hate those words "feet together and knees apart".

The older I get the less I like it. Not that I ever actually "liked" it anyway, but now I just cringe.

Perhaps it is an age thing? Bright room, pale skin and all that goes with impending middle age being on show.

Sigh.....

Anyway, as I am getting dressed the doctor says from behind his leather topped mahogany desk......

"Now, get out there and exercise".

WTF!

"I do exercise thank you very much. I bet I exercise more than you. What are you saying? That I am FAT"? I reply as I get dressed behind the screen.

"No, no, not at all. I am just saying that now you are getting older you need to work harder at it. Trust me", he tells me.

I am unsure how to answer because I am trying to work out what he is on about. I decide he is just being funny in his strange way. I have been going to see him for twelve years. He says things that can be taken the wrong way.

"Linda, Linda, the next few years will be a challenge for you to keep looking good, but if you work at it you will stay as lovely as you are now. You are much better than the average 45 year old who comes in here. You just have no idea. You are better than you probably think", he tells me.

Then, he writes a script out for me.

"What is that for"? I ask him as he hands it over.

"It is oestrogen cream. You use it internally every ten days or so", he explains.

"What for"? I ask.

"To keep you nice and tight", he replies.

Another WTF!

I shove the script in my bag. As if I need that.

Later that evening I head out to boxing class.

"I am off to drag my sagging, middle aged body out to exercise before it is beyond repair", I call out to my husband and son.

To which my dear son replies.....

"Then you better stay home since you don't own such a body".

Lovely boy.

I know which comment I embraced today.

My son's.

Ciao
LC

Family Lunch

A few years ago we had to go to my husband's cousin's house for a birthday lunch.

She was always having some sort of family get together. Family and friends. Friends I could never recall the names of, only the stories attached to them which the cousin so juicily would tell me.

This cousin I will just refer to as R. She was the best story teller in town. What is that expression? Never let the truth get in the way of a good story? Well, she kind of embraced that philosophy. Plus you could never tell her anything in confidence as you can bet she would tell someone else. You know the sort who says "now, don't tell anyone but.........".

There was an older couple who we always saw at these get togethers. They had been friends with R's family for many, many years. The husband was about 76 and the wife would have been ten years younger. She was his second wife and they had no shared children together.

He was an old looking 76 as opposed to just an old guy. He had not one scrap of hair on his incredibly round head. His face was very wrinkly and his neck reminded my of a tortoise neck sticking out from the collar of his shirt. He had a huge paunch which strained against his clothing.

Over his lifetime he had acquired great knowledge and loved sharing it irrespective of whether or not anyone wanted to hear it. It was irritating as attached to this intellectual capacity was complete smugness. The worst combination. A complete know all. Plus he was quite wealthy so that made him an arrogant know all.

The way he would purse his lips just before he was about to "educate" his "captive" audience just annoyed the life out of me. It was made worse by the way he ate his food or drank from the wine glass. I cannot quite explain it without sounding as though I am the one with the issue, but he was just a rude shit.

His wife was a very corpulent woman with dyed red hair and very flamboyant clothing. She was quite funny and interesting and fussed over her husband to the point of being a bit of a doormat. He would sit like a Buddha while she ran around getting his lunch and drinks to him. Don't get me wrong, I love to do things for my husband but the way she did it was not based on doting it was based on subservience. Her whole body language suggested it. The wanting of his approval.

This couple had a relationship that had an unequal power balance in it. He held the purse strings and would threaten her with divorce as a punishment for "bad behaviour". Even though she had her own money it was certainly not enough to support herself if they divorced.

Anyway, this cousin was telling me how every day the wife would have to give the husband a head job to keep him happy. That was like a payment or a pacifier. And always first thing in the morning. Not only that, I got a blow by blow description of what she did (no pun intended).

Honestly, why people even divulge such personal information intrigues me greatly.

Well, at this particular lunch event I was there with this new knowledge. I could not take my eyes of this couple. In particular her hands with their long, fake red nails. Or her lurid, red painted lips. I am the sort who is so visual that it can be very distracting no matter how unpleasant the picture may be in my head.

The table was laden with food. Enough to keep everyone eating all day. On one huge platter were the most gorgeous sandwiches. Beautiful white bread, fresh salad, smoked salmon, chicken, ham and other wonderful combinations. I picked up my plate and hovered near the table to make my choice and my hand was above this platter of sandwiches.

"Oh, do have those Linda, I made them fresh this morning", this aforementioned woman called out from the other side of the table.

I hesitated and then carefully picked up one of the sandwiches and placed it on my plate whilst at the same time making a pleasant comment about them. She then pointed out what else she had made. I stored this information in my head for future food choices that would arise that day.

I casually but deliberately drifted into the kitchen out of sight where I then threw the sandwich into the bin and hid it under some paper towel.

I just could not bring myself to eat it. Just could not. I am sure she washed her hands and all that but with all my uptight food issues there was no way I was going to be able to bring that sandwich to my mouth without thinking of what she did that morning.

After disposing of the sandwich I went back outside and ate what I considered "safe".

My husband and son just ate the sausage rolls and pies that were out for the kids. I made the decision to share the information I had with my husband's sister out of respect for her fussy food personality. She was very grateful and also very entertained.

If I think too much about what people may or may not do with their hands before preparing food that I am going to eat, it puts me off completely.

It makes eating out stressful.

If you come over to my house for lunch I can guarantee that, well, that, um, er.....let me see, I can promise you that you never have to worry about the food I have made.

If you know what I mean.

Ciao
LC