Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Er Um O

Tonight my son was sitting at the dining table doing his homework.

Boy, didn't he moan about it. Moaned and moaned.

Moaned about the pen. It was not writing nicely.

Moaned how boring homework was.

Moaned about how tired he was (but not tired enough to go to bed of course).

Finally he came out with the reason for his grumpy mood. He had a bad day at school.

A boy in his class was annoying him.

"I hate Arty. He is so annoying. He talks non stop and if I tell him to shut up it is me who gets caught and told off. And even when I stabbed him with the compass he still did not shut up", my son ranted away.

I said something about how he should not stab someone with a compass just because they are annoying. The expected parental response to such a confession.

"And, it really annoys me how he chews his wooden ruler. You know, he does it all day and I think if he farted you would see sawdust", my son continues on.

I was laughing at him and then he said something that kind of wiped the smile off my face with shock.

"Yeah, and you know what else I hate. He blabs on and on in a stupid high girls voice and wriggles in his seat at the same time for so long like he is having an orgasm", says son of mine.


What, what, what?

I stare at him. Mouth open with shock.

He stares at me. Mouth open and laughing.

"Oh my God. My son said THAT word to me", I said in shock and then do a faux scream in horror.

My son is is really laughing at my reaction.

"You said the O word in front of your mother", I said.

By this stage he is laughing so loudly that my husband calls out from the office.

"What is going on? What is the O word? What did he say?" husband asks.

Son and I look at each other and both laugh.

"Orange", my son calls out.

"What? That is not a rude word. I don't know any rude words beginning with O", my husband answers.

By this stage S and I are laughing so hard that I can hardly breathe. My son comes out with a few more random words beginning with the letter O.

I change the subject. My son says something about knowing all those words and what they mean.

I am reminded of a conversation that my son and I had last year after watching Meet The Fockers. That movie with Barbara Striesand and Ben Stiller. It was a sequel to Meet The Parents.

There is a part in the movie where Ben Stiller (the son) is telling his mother (Barbara Streisand) about how his wife is pregnant. His mother is so pleased for him and then asks him something along the lines of whether when the baby was conceived was the sex extra special. I cannot recall the exact words. But the gist of it was that they were talking about his sex life. It is a bit over the top.

Anyway, my son turned to me and said;

"Do you know mum. That is like you and me isn't it? We will be like that. Talk about anything".

"Um. Well, yes. I suppose so. But you know, you don't have to tell me everything. There will be times it is okay to keep things to yourself. But you can always talk about things to me. Yes, for sure", I answer in amazement at his words.

Later on my husband came out of the office and again asked what was the O word that my son had said.

Which brought forth another bout of laughter from S.

Well, at least I won't have to explain it to him.

But it appears I might have to explain it to my husband!

Ha ha ha.

Now I am laughing.

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