But I will have to draw the line at beige.
I am not at the beige age yet, even underneath my clothes.
I take that back. I just saw the bit where the character Harry has to go to the toilet after being slipped a whole dosh of laxettes by Lloyd. It made me laugh.
Nothing like a bit of toilet humour to bring a smile to my face.
Lately I have put on weight.
I am sure that is a regular comment in the lives of most females.
Part of the reason for weight gain is exercise. When I run, do weights or boxing my body bulks up and fills out, which is good I guess. But, the other reason is that I have been a bit of an oinker. It is that weight gain which leads to an increase in the jiggle factor.
Despite the fact that I have a healthy diet, it does happen that I do indulge. And when I do, it can go on for about two weeks of heavenly eating. It's not chocolate, cakes, cheese, biscuits or wine that does it for me. It is the health food shop. That place is a honey trap. Tasty treats sold under the guise of healthy suck me in every few months and I cave in with such joy, despite the absolute knowledge that I am buying little packets of sugary goodies that will find their way to my waistline.
My big indulgence has been carob coated licorice sticks. Once I open that packet I eat them. One after the other. If my husband is in the same room I will begrudgingly offer him one or two, but ONLY if he spies the packet. Otherwise I will eat the whole lot. And, believe me, I taste every delicious mouthful.
In fact, licorice is my biggest weakness. If I have a block of dark chocolate near me I will be able to restrain myself and have a few pieces only. Any chocolate for that matter, unless it happens to be wrapped around some licorice. Oh sweet licorice all black and aromatic. Packet opens and then is empty very quickly.
Soft black licorice, salty Dutch licorice, carob coated licorice, chocolate bullets and licorice all sorts. Although, I am very wary of the all sorts because they have weird colours in them that always give me a headache. Sometimes I peel the coloured bits off and just eat the licorice bit.
I use the excuse that since licorice makes me go to the toilet more it is okay. Just goes straight through.....
My other indulgence are these things called apricot delights. Little blocks of apricot wedged together with sugar into a neat and small rectangle shape. I eat 'em. Eat 'em all. One after the other. I love the tartness of them at the first bite which is followed by a lovely sweetness mixed in. Mmmmmmm.
I mean, if they have fruit in it so that makes it almost healthy to eat all of them. And, they are organic and preservative free so that is a good thing isn't it?
This indiscriminate munching has made me put on a bit of weight that makes my clothes feel uncomfortable so I will back off for a few months and then get into it again. Life cycle of a roll of fat.
So, today I ate the last stick of fat, glossy black licorice and my body said bye bye to it for the next few months.
It was sweet goodbye.
Back to apples and mandarins.