Friday, November 09, 2007


I am sure everyone knows the fashionable thing to do now is "detox".

Not the rehab version of detox where the celebrities end up when their career needs a boost.

I am talking the detox thing where you don't eat certain things for days on end, do some fasting, drink some fresh vegetable juice with wheat grass juice and then add some selenium powder in it for full impact. You only do this twice a year apparently.

Almost as bad as my gall bladder flush episode from hell.

You can buy all sorts of packets of products from health food stores that supposedly outline the full procedure. In fact, one Christmas K gave me one such packet to try. What sort of present is that I ask you? I have a book on drinks to make whilst you detox. The drinks are essentially non alcoholic cocktails full of lemon, lime and ginger. So very refined.

Yesterday I noticed an advert in a women's magazine that had the headline "Why detox twice a year, when you can do it every day". Now that seemed interesting. So I read on for full details.

It was advocating the partaking of Metamucil each morning after breakfast. Metamucil is basically a fibre mix that you drink with a glass of water.

So, it appears that a detox is actually all about having a CRAP each day.

Then, a few pages later there was an advert with the headline "Send your children off to school each day with a glass of Metamucil".

Hold on here. This is wrong, wrong, wrong.

What is going on here. It is bad enough that companies add things to food, even milk, to encourage action stations in the dunny department, but would it not be better to encourage healthy eating habits from the word go?

There is something strange about getting people, children especially, to take a product to have a crap without first investigating their diet.

By the way, have you ever taken any of those fibre gel drinks? You want to be very, very careful about when you take it, how much you put in the glass and how long you wish to sit on the toilet. If you don't drink four glasses of water with it, you end up with a 1kg moving mass of fibre trying to make it's way through 80 feet of intestinal tract. Very, very unpleasant for yourself and those close to you, if you get my drift. And, if you are prepared to drink four glasses of water anyway, you would not need to drink fibre gel in the first place.

Personally, I would rather send my child to school with a multi-grain sandwich, piece of fruit and a cup cake. Because I can tell you right now, there is no way that he would drink something like Metamucil after his breakfast. I mean, it is hardly as appealing as an orange juice is it?

No matter how nicely they package the container, no matter how many yummy and tangy flavours it comes in, if you have ever tried one you would have realised that no child is going to be fooled into thinking that is a treat of sorts.

My advice is, before you go "detoxing" at breakfast each day, have a look at what you are eating for breakfast. In fact, have a look at your whole food intake for the day. Extra fibre may be needed for some, however, let us not make it a first choice and certainly not try to make it fashionable by calling it a "detox".

Detox? Yeah right.

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