Little Sister

Well C arrived safely yesterday from sunny QLD. She was so cold that I had to take off my coat and scarf and give it to her to wear. She is so relieved to be down here. I know she wants help sorting things out with her budget and personal direction a bit. It is so nice to talk to her face to face rather than on the phone or msn only. It has been about 2.5 years since I last saw her and I can see she is so much more together now. Her studies are going well but she needs to get some part time work not just for the money but for self esteem and focuss. Too many free hours are not always a good thing. I think she will be trying for aged care area as there is a good market for that in QLD (all those retirees getting on now) and she is good with people - very kind and straight forward.

Today she is going into the city for a trip to the art gallery. She is wearing some clothes of mine, my jacked and shoes and scarf. I made her take an umbrella, lunch and gave her some money for the train and a coffee. I am sure she thought I was being a fussy thing - but I want her not to worry. I just want her to chill out and get her head together.

We started working on her budget and I think it will help her get on top of things. She really justs wants a bit of a different perspective on things. Sometimes you just get so bogged down in life you cannot see further than the front door. So it is not like I am telling her what she has to do, I am only suggesting some things to make life easier for her.

The Flower and Garden show is on this weekend so I think we may make a trip in there maybe on Saturday, not sure yet as it does depend a bit on the weather. I know she also wants to go to the museum which S will also love.

S is starting swimming lessons this Saturday. He is okay with that and it is only really to get his confidence back. Plus I think he is becoming a bit of a lazy sloth and needs to be pushed into getting off his bottom. He has also agreed to do piano lessons this year. I know he is not liking being pushed into it, but sometimes you have to do a bit of firm guiding to develop interests. He can read music so well and I think he has a natural lean to music like K had, so I really think he will appreciate it. Plus, if he sticks to it and practices he is allowed to take up another instrument which I know he wants very much and that is drums. If we don't guide him into things, he will be sitting on his arse playing xbox for the next 10 years. And that is just not an option.

We got one room painted yesterday and it looks fabulous. Green. I am going to take a picture of things soon and post it up as it is all so nice. The yellow bathroom only needs a cabinet and it will be completed.

Well, I better get back to work.

Ciao

LM

Bike Riders

I need to make a quick comment about bike riders. I mean those serious bike riders. You know the ones. They wear all the go gear, lycra and chamois shorts, stretchy lycra tops in vile colours, bike gloves, wierd shoes that go clickety click into the bike pedals and shaved legs. The bikes are made of titanium/plutonium/kryptonite or carbon fibre - whatever - and require a mortgage to pay for it. As I am pedalling along I notice them pass me by or sometimes coming towards me. Serious and grim looks on their faces, bums high in the air as for some really odd reason the bike seat is set higher than the handlebars. Their faces are set with this look of determination. They rarely use bike paths as they choose to ride on the highway usually three abreast. The purpose is to get from point A to point B. Where is the pleasure. What is being seen on the way. Do they notice the gardens or the wind or the colour of the sky? Are they thinking of their day or the next day or even the day before? Is there any peaceful contemplation along with them on the bike ride from Hell they appear to be travelling on. I am of course only assuming that they are not cruising happily judging by the scowl etched into their faces.

I mean to say - lighten up - it is only a bike ride. Enjoy it.

Ciao

LM

Sunday

Had a really pleasant Sunday. Firstly I felt as though there was an extra hour in the day which made me think I was getting something for nothing. Went for a bike ride, although only about 6 kms I think as I decided to keep the distance smaller. Still took a while as I had to do a bit of shopping on the way home. K went to the tip with a full trailer of absolute rubbish from around the garden and house which was very satisfying.

Went for a drive down to the Tyabb Packing house in the hope of finding a nice vintage bed for the spare front bedroom as C is has to have somewhere to sleep! No bed but I did buy this amazing little beach shelter from the 1960's. It is like new. Hard to explain I guess. A long piece of the most gorgeous orange, green and black striped canvas held with four wooden poles as a wind break. It has three sides and in each side is this gorgeous blue canvas pocket which can hold sunscreen and stuff like that. It all rolls up and fits in this groovy little canvas bag. I swear the colours are so bright and cheery it has never been used. Probably just sitting up in someones linen press for 40 odd years and when they die or go to a nursing home the kids just get rid of it all. I cannot wait for summer to use it. I do have a rather shabby one which I think I will send down to the op-shop. Had lunch there as we always do and could not help but notice how grown up S seems to have become. He confessed that he was not bored and quite enjoyed himself. I notice also that he is right into K. Just hangs off him and is really enjoying the father/son thing.

I also bought these two really, really daggy shirts from the awful smelly junk shop for $6.00 each. They were new but so horrible I felt compelled to give them a home. One is purple and one is striped. Both are a bit ugly but I think I can handle it and if not, well they are so cheap I can toss them out after a few wears. I almost bought a baby blue 1950's beaded cardigan but thought K may find that just a bit too smelly and shabby looking (even after a good wash). I have a strong liking for second hand clothes. I am thinking seriously about buying myself a cashmere jumper/polo neck as I think they are just divine (new of course). But then I have to handwash it and that kind of puts me off.

S conned K into buying a Jaws 3 video and I can assure you it met all my expectations. S had to admit that it was only worth $2.00 and not the $4.00 we paid for it.

S has asked me for a leather jacket but I am not sure that he is old enough for one. I don't want him poncing around like some Mario Bros dude. Maybe a denim jacket is more the go. Then again, I would not want to stifle him and his perceptions of how he wants to look.

S lost his tooth just before we left the tooth fairy came to visit whilst we were out! S asked me later on if there really was a tooth fairy or was it me. I tried really hard not to smile/laugh and just kept saying that as long as he believed in the tooth fairy she would visit. I could not bear to tell him but I could not stop laughing either at how he broached the subject. I think he knows something..... I just said to him "S, enjoy being a child and all the things that go with it". So he still believes - well he is telling me he does.

Am about to set up ironing board and you know what that means - ironing.

Ciao

LM

Catch Up Chitter Chat

Well, continuing on from the mention of the 12 km bike ride. I did it. Thursday at 6.00pm. Now today is Saturday and I have to say that I can feel in my bottom and legs that I did some rather hard pedalling. K said it would take about 40 mins - hmmmm, well it took me an hour. Pedalled along North Road with the sun shining in my eyes and peak hour traffic roaring up behind me. Had to go on the footpath a couple of times. Once I got to Nepean Highway bike path I thought that was an easy run so the bike path should be a doddle. And it would have been if not for the headwind that was with me all the way. Got to South road eventually and thought to myself how nice it would be if I was outside the front of my house and NOT at the intersection of Nepean Highway and South Road feeling hungry and thirsty. Also, by then I had decided that 12km was not my cup of tea on that day. But anyway, just pedalled along steadily, up the hills and down and along Jasper Road with the full knowledge that eventually my legs would get me to my front gate. Once home I did feel pretty tired but also really pleased with myself for making the effort. Also slept exceptionally well.

Friday I had to most relaxing day. Went with J&P to a day spa and had a lovely session in the steam room followed by a full body massage and facial. The day was topped of by a nice lunch at Circa restaurant which, whilst rather swishy, was a bit boring and had the worst service. Our lunch order was taken at about 2pm and we finally finish eating and left there at about 3.45pm. Hardly had anytime for a quick looksee down in Acland street as I had to get home. Maybe another day. Really just want to spend a few hours down there at Readings bookshop and spend $$$$. I have not been reading enough books.

In the evening I was in two minds as to whether or not do the catch up with HH friends. K talked me into it and despite my confidence that I would find it boring and be home by 10pm, I ended up getting home at 12.30 am. One of the girls was PD who is now a full time artist and has had some of her works bought by the National Gallery of Victoria. She was almost embarrassed about saying she was an artist - almost as embarrassed about me saying I am a boring bookkeeper. I was so pleased to see her and hear about her life. I think she will be catching up a lot more now.

Today I went to the Farmer's market and bought lots of delish fruit and vegies. Also picked up some venison as I think I can eat that. Really need to plonk on a bit more weight as I have dropped down to 56kgs which looks fine under clothes but really scrawny naked. Plus, makes me tired as I just do not have enough reserves for exercise or late nights. So have eaten lots more food today. Probably not food which will put on weight but more than usual to get my tummy used to it. Bought some gorgeous little apples and pears which are so yummy and will fit perfectly into S's lunchbox at school. I mean to say, some of the apples you get at the supermarket are so big that half of it gets thrown in the bin because S cannot eat it all. Also bought some really tasty choc chip cookies as I figured that I should bring home something other than vegetables. T was there directing the parking as it is a Rotary event. I did not even notice him and he pointed out where to park. When I saw him I was so surprised.

Got to wear a scarf today. I loved to get out my scarves. It is such a final movement from one season to the next and I love that. Cold and windy days are ahead and this is good for the garden and makes me stay inside and get back into the house. Then again, I love it when the weather warms up again later in the year. I just love the change of the seasons.

Have just cleaned one bathroom and am about to start the next one. House is a getting a good tidy.

As for the ironing - ah well, that is another story.

Ciao

LM

Another Day

Poor S is sick at home today. Nasty chest cough that kept me awake through the night and of course kept him awake as well. So it was decided he could stay home from school rather than sit in class coughing and spreading bugs. Got to work at about lunchtime and stared at the alarming amount of paperwork that had been dumped on the computer keyboard. I much prefer coming into work first thing in the morning otherwise I am just not in the mood for it. Anyway, toiled away mindlessly before deciding I had to get home and have dinner and stuff. I am leading somewhere with this dreary blurb. I stopped at Southland and picked up some tickets for S and K to go to see Deep Purple and Status Quo in a few weeks. Unfortunately it is on a Sunday night so I do think that S will be a bit tired at school the next day. I bought the tickets as S specifically asked if he could go and I thought it would be a good thing for him. It is unlikely that Deep Purple will still be rocking on in ten years time. Also picked up the Harry Potter DVD which was just out yesterday.

However, due to the purchase of the tickets, I have decided that the towels for the new bathroom are definitely on hold. Just cannot justify spending money on them yet. So I will wait a few more weeks. In fact, I might wait until the mid year sales as that really is a good time to buy some things.

Really feel I have to mention the "I" word. Ironing. Yes, the ironing monster has arrived on time and in full force. I sorted it this morning into piles which kind of made me feel a bit better about tackling it. Is there no end to it? Not likely. I will look at it in detail tonight. I think.

S is still in his pyjamas and has been watching Tintin all day long so I figure he must be feeling pretty average to not even bother to get off the couch. I cannot help but notice that lots of coloured foil paper is on the coffee table which tells me that he has probably been eating Easter eggs in large quantities. I am jealous.

First thing first though. Cup of green tea and then a 12 km bike ride for me.

Um, then the ironing.

Ciao

LM

Memories

Well, decided to do something constructive tonight as I am not walking at the moment until I feel a bit better. Have had about the worst period/pmt in years along with a rather horrible tummy ache. So, I decided to sort through S's baby clothes which were stored on top of our wardrobe. Took the boxes down and it just felt like yesterday that I put them up there. Took out all his sweet little clothes and bibs. His first pair of shoes, the clothes he came from hospital in. I could remember where each piece came from and could still smell that baby smell on them. Decided, however, everything needed a wash before I repacked and stored it as it did look a bit tired. Also found a box of toys that he played with a lot. Not really sure about cleaning them though as it may have to be a handwash job. Plus, there is something rather sweet about seeing his dribble marks on everything.

Had a bit of a boring Sunday as I had to lie up in bed with some sort of tummy bug. I hate being sick as it is so boring. Just lying around and waiting to get better is not my idea of fun really. Had to drag myself into work and plodded pretty much all day. Left early as, quite frankly, I was a waste of space.

Made a concious effort to totally chill out tonight. Resisted the urge to do any exercise or anything. Made myself relax. Think I am up to a walk in the morning though.

Am looking forward to C coming down and staying. It should be like a breath of fresh air for me. I hope she gets to just relax and take stock of things. I know things are not easy for her. That girl really deserves more good things to happen to her.

Anyway, I must go and clean up the bits and pieces I have emptied all over the floor of the lounge room.

Sleep well.

Ciao

LM

My Bike

I love my bike. My beautiful black boys bike. It is so sturdy and strong with shining chrome on it. I have a basket in front of the handlebars and one on the pack rack. It is such a nice looking bike with the black, shiny paint and decorative transfers. I like the white tipped mudguard at the back and the smooth black one on the front of the bike. I have to really lift my right leg high to clear the basket at the back and am thankful for being tall. Unfortunately I cannot get off it whilst it is going as the swing my leg back over the basket is asking for an embarassing fall. When I pedal it, the movement is so big and quiet except for the ticking of the gears when I stop pushing the pedal. It is such a lovely bike to ride on long journeys, so cruisy and forgiving over bumps and rattles. The seat is a brooks leather sprung saddle and so comfortable. No-one else rides a bike like mine. This bike has had a long life. It is about 50 years old and I like to think about who had it before, who rode it and used it all the time and the one day just got rid of it. Were it not for K deciding to restore it my bike would be rusting away down the rubbish tip. Any clear weather day I try to take it out for a 15 minute ride to just enjoy it.

Ciao

LM

Blah Blah Blah

Went to K's Aunt's funeral yesterday and it just confirmed that I am going to die one day. Funerals always do that. Just another reminder of our mortality. The place was at some newish place in Frankston and was like a conference centre or something. There, in this huge room of maroon chairs, were about 10 of us saying goodbye to this sweet old lady. I was sitting there thinking "I don't want to be here" and all the "where is my life going" thoughts raced through my head. The place was so sterile that even the toilets were these wierd push button things that sealed you inside and played elevator music whilst you sat on the toilet. Talk about purpose built.

Had the most awful sleep last night. Am restless and have so many things on my mind that I cannot seem to sort out very well. Not sure what to do about anything. Maybe just put things on the backburner.

Tonight, hooray, hooray, I am catching up with my lovely Hampton High buddies at our usual watering hole. I think catching up with them will help soothe my head. It just makes me feel happy when we get together and chitter chat without any agenda. Tonight I am driving as no drinking - also K is working around the corner and I will drop S off at about 7.30. Also means I don't have to drive home with B as I hate feeling I have to chat all that way and also leave when he wants to instead of when I want to. I have feeling obliged to anyone like that.

Sunday K is working so S will probably spend the day at a friend's house. I think I will just mosey around the house and go for a bike ride. Have some time to myself. Maybe ride down to the beach. Saturday is a day at the hairdressers and then a couple of hours shopping down at Elsternwick. I really need to do some things around the house. I know what has to be done but getting it done is a bit hard sometimes.

I better get back to work - not that I really feel like it today. I am so out of sorts, I need to get back on track.

Ciao

LM

Back to Routine

Well, finally a moment or two on my own to write a few uninteresting things. Holiday - well that went well but I am so glad to be back into my little routine of life. This is the only picture of me on the beach. The weather was so lovely and the view out to sea gorgeous. Unfortunately the view behind of all the big buildings was a bit ugly.

Tonight we went into the city to see the fish on the Yarra River and just to see what was happening really. The atmosphere was great. So many people just milling around and watching all sorts of amazing entertainment. It was like being in Europe really. Just that lovely holiday feel about it all. Although, I did say to S and K that it felt like something was about to happen but it never did. A sort of build up to - well - nothing really. There were some really astonishing perfomers and some of the ideas that people come up with for entertainment were impressive and indicated great imagination. Especially the gymnastics mixing with art.

So, now that I am back to work, home and all other routine things I can feel much more relaxed and in fact I feel quite invigorated after the holiday. I love routine. It keeps my head calm and my mind focussed and makes me feel safe and in control. When I get out of routine I am so agitated. A bit sad really.

I am too tired to finish the tonight. I will work on it when I get more time.

Sleep well.

LM

Busy Day

Mowed back lawn.
Weeded back garden.
Did some cooking.
Wore no make-up.

And

And

And

Finished ALL THE IRONING. Every little piece of it.

Yes.

Now I am going to bed - I have earnt it.

Ciao

LM

Avoiding Things That Must Be Done

I wonder if anyone else has this problem. The problem being "avoiding things that must be done". Today I knew that I had to sort washing and stuff and also start packing some stuff up in S's room but instead I cleaned the bird cage, cleaned out the fridge and pantry and fiddled around in the garage cleaning my bike and looking up on the mezzanine floor in boxes. Plus I rang my brother and chatted to him for a while. I often do other things to avoid doing things I should get stuck into. Oh, I do know I must pack the suitcases or I am in the shit on Tuesday!

Interestingly enough, I was like this at school. I would have an assignment that had to be done by a certain date and I would do it the absolute last minute. I would think and think about what I had to do and agonise over it and then just do it the night before and get good marks for it. When I went back to study for a year when I was 28 I noticed that my study habits had not changed. Even at work I will do really, really important things right at the last minute. It is almost as if the extreme pressure just brings out the best in me. Personally I think most people are like that.

Finally got my legs waxed today and feel just so smooth and fresh. It was just a relief to know that when I go up to QLD I can go on the beach hair free. I honestly do not know how those girls do a brazillian wax. I mean I have a shower just before I go there but it is just so wierd lying there getting a highly personal wax. They don't seem to mind. And she was so quick it was almost painless. Except, funnily enough, on the top of my feet and ankles it is just agony. Maybe because there is no fat under the skin. Who knows, who cares - I am hair free.

Hair is a funny thing. I mean it is just so acceptable to have a glorious head of hair yet if there is a skerrick of hair peeping outside of a pair of bathers people freak. I remember when I went overseas for the first time I was told that European girls never shave and I thought "oh okay, I guess that is very liberating". Well, it is an urban myth. The girlies in Europe are hair free and totally fantabulous. And that was 12 years ago so you can imagine now, with the never ending strive for perfection, how gorgeous the girls are. When we got to Denmark I think K's mouth had to be nailed shut after seeing all the Danish girls all suntanned in their teeny weeny skimpy shorts. Hmmmm, I must admit I did feel a bit of a frump!

I made S help me clean the bird cage. He whined at first and then just got into it. I had to teach him how to clean and hold the cloth. I remember my mum teaching me how to clean as I can tell you it did not come naturally. I am about to get him to vacuum the wooden floor tonight as I think he is about at that age. He really is a lazy boy - I was the same. Not overly eager to please although he will do the right thing if I ask.

Well, I have made S dinner, had my dinner and cleaned the kitchen. K is away for the weekend so it is time to make myself a nice cup of tea - green of course.

Hot day tomorrow - nice.

Ciao and very sweet dreams.

LM