Autumn sunny weekends

Have had a very relaxing Saturday and Sunday. Rode my lovely bike - which now has two gorgeous black wire baskets on it. One at the front and one on the pack rack. I love riding it to the supermarket and loading it up with food. I never, ever wear a helmet which is a bit naughty but it feels very nice to have the wind in my hair.

I took S and his friend to The Children's Garden at the Botanical Gardens on Sunday where they got totally soaked to the skin playing under the fountain. S was dripping with water and thoroughly enjoying himself. We had a picnic and both of them ate so much I am surprised they could move. After that we went to the Shrine of Rememberance and had a long look there. S said to me that he felt sad when he looked at the books and books of so many names of people who were killed in WWI. Downstairs in the crypt was a giant Australian flag from Changi prison and I would have explained it to S more but his friend is Japanese and I felt that maybe it was better that I did not discuss it as I do not know what he knows or whatever. Just did not feel appropriate so I said to S we could look it up on the internet. But it was interesting that the two of them stood listening very seriously to the Last Post being played and I thought how interesting it is that these days we put all that behind us.

Yesterday I did lots of weed pulling and garden bed raking and am very sunburnt on my arms. Today was also so sunny that I did get a second dose of the sun and I am feeling a bit tired.

The work on the house is very slowly coming together and the storage cupboard (ex toilet) is almost ready to be used. Now the office is going to be painted, recarpeted and have some built in furniture put in and we can call it complete. K went out and bought a laptop for work yesterday and I said how disgusting it was that we now have THREE computers in the house. Talk about E-house. K hates computers - believe it or not.

I know I have more to write up - but too tired really.

Ciao

LM

Was I Ever a Little Girl

I am wondering if I was ever a little girl doing little girl things. I think hard and it seems as though I was always a grown up. That is the trouble with being an adult, you so easily forget the pleasures of being a child. I remember doing lots of things in my childhood, but I cannot grasp the feeling of being so small and carefree. Sometimes though, when I catch up with HH friends I do feel 16 again. In fact we all feel that way so I guess that is close to it.

We moved into a house in Hampton when I was about 12. I remember the bathroom had a claw foot bath and one of those water heaters you had to light every morning to heat the water. I swear it looked like Mr Squiggles rocket and when you lit it the whole bathroom shook. The top of my right hand and lower arm had no hair on it after I lit it as a flame would shoot up my arm when I lit the pilot light. The bonus of it was that the water was hot for as long as that rocket was lit. You could have the most glorious long baths or showers. The bath had a tin surround on the section where the shower was. The hot water for the bath came out of a long thin copper pipe so you had to be careful not to touch it as it was scorching hot.

I do love old fashioned things. I do have the most delightful stove that we bought out of the Trading Post for just $100. It had only been used once or twice and then disconnected and put into storage for about 50 years. However we did have to get it converted to run it from Town gas to Natural gas and that took about 45 phone calls to find a person who could do that. We don't have an electric kettle - we use the stove - with an enamel jug that came from Denmark from family friends and is about 60 years old. I actually sold a 2 year old stove to put this one in. I use this one more than I have used anything and have cooked a full on meal for 8 in it. It makes the most amazing roasts in it and fantastic cakes. But it really does require a bit of skill as it is not fan forced and is in fact a very "fast" oven. You have to be careful what size pans to use and where to place them in the oven. I have had to use old cook books to work out the best way to use it. Everyone thought we were wierd when we bought it but I like the fact that it has history and it acknowledges people since gone. Anyway, who cares - I love it. K would like and old fridge, but I had to say no to that.

Later this year we will change the kitchen a bit by replacing the jarrah bench top with a lovely mottled green laminex finished off in the 1960's style of a steel edge. The doors will also be changed to be more old fashioned. It is fun and different so why not.

Went for walk tonight and feel good and after this I will be doing some tv watching and exercises. Got a long week ahead of me so need to keep active.

Sleep well.

LM

Alarm Clock

How funny that yesterday I mentioned the alarm clock relationship I have. Last night K said to me to not turn on the alarm on my mobile as it wakes him up too early. He said to me that he had an "internal" alarm clock for 7.00 am and he would wake me up when he woke up. Well, with some reluctance I agreed not to turn it on. This morning his "internal" alarm clock went off at 8.20 am and we were in an awful rush to get S up, feed him breakfast, get him showered and dressed, make his lunch and get him off to school in 20 minutes. Then I did not get to work until 10.00 am. Worse than that, I have come to work with scruffy hair as I did not have time to blow dry properly. As I left the house K agreed that maybe the alarm clock being set was not such a bad idea.

Hmmmm

LM

Feeling Fat

Have decided I am fat. Got K to to take a picture of me so I could see if I was as fat as I felt. Not too bad. The feeling was more drastic that the reality. Just shows you that all females have fat days. Here I am in the office - which is still being fiddled around with. The tradesmen took all day to put some shelves in and hang 3 doors. Really, they must daydream sometimes.

Currently feeling really unwell after every single piece of food I eat. Has been like this for days which is very dreary and tiring. Makes me lose my appetite but I still eat. Am down to the most boring food or else I vomit. Fortunately have not lost any more weight but am chronically tired. Probably worse with my period and a cold. Went for a 40 minute walk tonight which has worn me out. And finally got through all the nasty paperwork I had to.

Sometimes I have these urges to not eat at all. There is something so pure about being really, really hungry and being able to ignore it. Fortunately I never do things to compromise my mental and physical health so I do not ever give in to that thought. Anyway, if I did I would faint. I can never go more than 2 hours without a nibble on something.

Have resurrected another shitload of ironing. Hooray. It will keep me busy all week!

Sweet dreams.

LM

Monday Mornings

There is nothing I can say about Monday mornings that has not already been said. They are so annoying. I always sleep in and feel hostile about having to get up and go to work. I would rather we had 10 hour days and three day weekends. But then, maybe Tuesday mornings would become Monday mornings.

I like to set my alarm for 6.30 which I know is far too early but I then feel that I have enough time to wake up before I actually have to get out of bed. Otherwise I wake up in such a rush and my morning is all over the place. Then on the other hand, when I half wake up at 6.30 I either fall back asleep and wake up at 8.00 and freak or I lie there so tired but worrying about falling asleep and waking up at 8.00 and freaking. It would help if I went to bed earlier.

Went to dear old Chadstone again yesterday looking for towels. Went to five different places and ended up coming back with pillowcases. But, when I got home I remembered that the towels I wanted are not being released until 20th March and they are the new Sheridan super soft ones in the most delicious colours. So, really, it was perfect that I could not find the towels I wanted. Otherwise I would have seen them afterwards and been really, really shitty I did not get those ones.

Tradesmen are at our house today putting in the shelves in the linen press and cupboard and putting the doors on. I am very pleased that at last I will have some serious storage in the house. All very exciting.

Woke up this morning with a raging sore throat that came from K and S. Along with that is a thumping headach and runny nose. I think it started a bit on Saturday as when I went for a walk last night I was compelled to wipe my nose on the sleeve of my hoodie which was a bit disgusting - but hey, that is better than nothing.

In regards to exercise, I think I have been a bit slack this week but maybe that is because I have been a bit unwell. I feel very guilty when I do not get out and walk or do weights or something. Apart from that, I think exercise is good for the mind and body. Last night was a monumental effort to get out. Did not even put tracksuit on as I knew I would run if I had the right gear on so I walked in normal clothes to ensure I did not break into a jog. Felt really ordinary at the beginning which was made worse by the fact I had vomited half and hour beforehand. But after about 15 mins I picked up and by the time I got home I was pleased I made the effort. By the time I got home S was all snuggled up in bed and K was on the computer doing work. So I decided to just veg out and watch tv (ABC of course) rather than more exercise or ironing. Sometimes, if you are not 100%, you just have to take it easy.

Well, I only have totally boring things to say at the moment so I better sign off now before I bore myself as well as everyone else.

Ciao

LM

Hmmmmmmmm

The restumpers arrived this morning at 7.00 am. By the time I left the house at 9.30 all the barge boards were off, downpipes off and the ducting for the heating was in the garage. It sounded like lots of little rats were under the house and I could smell cigarette smoke wafting up through the heating vents. O was late coming to measure the shower screen so I had to leave K to sort it out. Fortunately they did not make a decision about the glass type in case I did not approve. Now have to go the the showroom on Saturday morning before I go to the hairdressers. Fortunately it is only 4 doors down from the hairdressers so it is not out of my way.

Have to pick up a load of boxes to pack all of the stuff in S's room and mine and K's. The rooms have to be emptied for the plasterer and painting so i guess we will be sleeping - somewhere. House is in total chaos at the moment. Although bathroom is super.

I have appalling pmt - weepy and whiney and feeling like a fat cow. But not so bad as to not spare some sympathy for T who's husband told her that he wanted out of the marriage. No warning, no giving her a chance. Just out. It is his second marriage - his first failed due to communication problems - obviously a major flaw in his personality.

Am so overdue for a leg wax - just could not be bothered with anything at the moment. Although did make the effort to go the to Solarium last night as feeling a bit pale. Sort of helped. Then had to work at Bz's and do his books. He is such a high maint client. No-one else will take him on and I am stuck with him. Oh well, easy money I think. Came home and just crashed on the floor of the loungeroom watching ABC which was rather amusing. Finally got to bed at 11.30 and was kept awake by K with his appalling cold and of course S who ended up in bed with me and also has a cold. So, along with whiney, weepy and whingey pmt I am also sleep deprived. And, one again had baked beans for lunch.

Am having a bit of success in wearing same clothes this week. Jeans have reached day 5. Socks only got 3 days - even I have my limit. One t-shirt 2 days but had to change due to food accident. Winter will be the ideal time to wear clothes five days in a row. Summer is a bit - well - organic for that.

I really need to go shopping or something. Need something to do. Shop shop shop - want something as a reward.

Am feeling a bit bored as well.

Wish I was outside in the sun. At least I am leaving at 3.00 to pick up S so at least I get to feel the warmth.

Ciao

LM

Decisions, Dreams and Dogs

I have never had an easy time with making decisions of any size. I know some people do and I envy that in them. For me, however, the process of making decisions is loaded with so many other decisions. And it seems, time and time again, that what I want is left out of the process. Does that sound a bit dramatic? Well, let me take buying towels for example. I love white towels. Big and soft and glowing white. Were it up to me I would have only white towels and nothing else - well, except maybe baby pink. Either colour does not matter, but in a house with boys/men I have come to the conclusion that white is just too impractical. So, I pick sage green or chocolate as I know both colours will keep looking cleaner and save me having to change towels every second day.
Decisions involving S are even more difficult. Maintaining that fine balance between respecting his wishes, his independence and his pride is sometimes difficult. And to take a hard line is at times a testy thing to do.
Decisions I make are usually based on what I percieve to be best for everyone all around and although I know that sometimes I seem harsh making those decisions, it is the long term benefits that will show themselves. There are times when a choice I have made has left me full questions but in the end I know that the right thing has been done.

Last night I had a dream that I have had since childhood. It is really very frightening and it usually only occurs if I am really unhappy or overly tired. The dream first happened when I was about five years old (after an unfortunate creepy incident). In the dream I am in a kitchen and my parents are two very old and very thin and ugly people. Almost like that hideous couple from that famous American Gothic painting. The kitchen is predominantly green with yellow painted cupboards and they are sitting at a green table. I know the roof is almost domed and somehow the house is actually under a hill. I look out the kitchen window and there is a giant black bear lying on the power lines waiting for me. I am so scared in the dream as I know I am not safe in the house and outside the bear is waiting. Then I am running outside and everything is huge and I am so small like a little ant scrabbling along. Looking up I am standing under a tap and someone turns it on and I think I am drowning. It is always at this part I wake up in a soaking sweat and really scared. It never changes this dream and it is always and indication of something going on deep inside me. It really does freak me out.

And my dog - has lost 1.5 kgs. I am so proud that I can forgive him for raiding the rubbish bin this morning. He is always hungry the tubby thing.

Weather is so delicious outside.

I have made a decision this week to wear the same clothes all week (outer thank you). Guys do it so why can't I?

Ciao

LM

Dreams and Other Things

I had a most awful dream last night that when I got out of bed and went into the shower there was a knife in my chest and the handle had broken off which meant I could not take it out. There was no blood but I could feel it was inside and it hurt. When I woke up I was soaking in sweat and had an awful pain across my chest. It was very strange. I must have pulled a muscle or something. Then the pain becomes part of the dream which is a funny thing. I still have the pain today but not so severe. I have to admit, the pain does start at that annoying lump in the breast which I will have to follow up - have I been saying that for the past 3 months? Ooops I will get around to it. I just hate doctors. I have lots of bad dreams and things that happen during the day, or shows I see on television or pictures I see will trigger a nightmare. Subsequently I refuse to watch scary ghost movies and supernatural stuff or I will be reliving the whole thing in my sleep. It is only in the past few years that I stopped sleep walking and waking up in other parts of the house.

At Chadstone yesterday I walked around for ages and tried on lots and lots of clothes trying to find something that was just right. Tops, jeans, skirts, t-shirts, boots and underwear. You name it I tried it on but nothing hit the spot. It is so strange. People always ask if I have lots of clothes now I am thinner but the fact is, I hated buying clothes and nothing has changed. But I must admit, I do have some good ideas about what I will buy when I get a day to myself. Ended up coming home with some patchwork material and ribbon. Which I expect will end up in the sewing basket along with every other non-descript piece of fabric I buy. I really do need to go through my sewing stuff. A lot goes in and nought goes out again.

I am about to put lots of stuff on ebay that I no longer want. Main things being stupid kitchen appliances. One hardly used icecream maker that my mummy gave me, one juicer that is a shit to clean and I never use and one egg cooker (I have to confess it was an impulse buy). Just stuff that I have collected and no longer need. Some fantastic bedlinen which I just know will be bought in a flash as it is so fabulous. I am going for the pristine white only bed linen so need to get rid of any other colours. Toys - unless S has something to say about it - need to go. I just love ebay. It is the best time waster and a fun way to move stuff on.

Well, today I am finishing work at 3.30 and then have to go and do some bookkeeping at my baby brother's. So another tired night. He insists on paying me which is most annoying as I like to do it for him for free. I don't think I will be going for a run tonight.

Ciao

LM

What are weekend's for!

Saturday arrived late for me. Well, when I say late I guess I mean I just woke up late. Tired, grumpy and full of pmt. I was planning to go to work but by 11.00 am the decision had been made to stay home and potter. Spent an hour cleaning my overpriced Dyson vacuum cleaner which was so grubby I had to pull it apart. At the same time I spent ages cleaning the laundry. I think the laundry has it in for me. Everytime I go in there I see more washing and IRONING.

Found the whole day just so slow. I am so run down at the moment, crusty cold sores at the corner of my mouth, chronic headache and aching leg. Maybe I am overdoing it. Went for a lovely long jog which made me feel much better. Fortunately I have put on a bit of weight so I saw the scales creep up from 56.5 to 57.5 but somehow I think that is something to do with the pmt. Went for a walk along Centre Road and had a dynamite strong cup of coffee whilst I read some trashy mags. Spent some $$$ at the chemist on make-up. Have decided that Revlon is always the best make-up. I have been through them all, Clarins, Clinique, Lancome, Shiseido, Elizabeth Arden blah blah blah and Revlon always delivers the goods. On Sunday I opened my lovely and sparkling make-up box with all the new product and thoroughly enjoyed fiddling around with it all.

The one thing about Saturday is that I felt my batteries slowly recharging. I don't really know why, but I have been so mentally drained as well a physically that I was wondering what the problem was and why I could not get on top of it. I felt much better by Sunday night - very bright and much more alert. No noisy background worries. Mmmmm, I did go to Chadstone for a couple of hours - I wonder if that helped. And I did go to the Solarium yesterday - that always helps. Two runs as well. So maybe all those things do help.

On another note, K sold the MGYa which was a bit sad and, for the first time in 20 years, we do not have a classic car in the garage. But our aim is that by the end of this year we will have and Austin Healey Big6 in the garage. And that, is a classic car. One that I will enjoy driving and one that S can squeeze into so will never be left out. They really are the sexiest sports cars around. All the modern ones and the typical boring Porsche, BMW and Ferrari sports cars cannot hold a candle to the Austin Healey. They may say money but the Big6 says class and intellect which is such a beautiful statement. Not a wankers car that is for sure.

In the meantime we are converting half of the garage into a studio as all of us like to do lots of creative things and the house is just not big enough to leave a room in a half finished state of painting and jewellery making all the time.

On a final note, I just have to say that I did more IRONING last night. Three hours worth. Mmmmm, most boring thing although I did get to watch Poirot on Channel 2 which was a lovely Sunday night treat. So predictable I know, but the settings are superb and nice to watch.

Must get back to work now - am being a bit naughty.

LM

Summer Changing

This morning as I stepped outside to go to work, I could feel that shift in the air that tells me Summer is ending and Autumn is on it's way in. Even though the day was going to be warm, there was that slight mistiness in the air and that smell that comes with a change of season.

I am thinking now what I shall do in the garden this year. Last year it was sooooo neglected as I was unwell and I feel that I do need to put an extra effort in to make amends. Somehow though, there just never seems to be enough hours in the day for me. The day starts with the usual "getting ready" then I drive S to school, then get to work, pick S up most days, get home and organise dinner, put a load of washing on, sort out clothes for tomorrow, go for walk/jog - well it just seems to take up a lot of time. But the garden, well probably a weekend would get it ready. Mmmmm, have to think about that a bit more.

Plumber is coming tomorrow to finish of bathroom which is very exciting. Last night I went into my bathroom and there were 4 pairs of shoes, a pile of washing and two empty toilet rolls on the floor. Then I noticed that the snow white towels had huge grubby marks all over them! I will have to soak them to get them sparkly white again. What is it with boys!

I am off to the shops tonight to stock up on food. I have a nasty headache and have also noticed that I have a huge and unsightly pimple on my neck. I am also sick of eating vegan, low fat food. Anyway, that is my gripe for the day.

LM

Weekend Break

Went to Phillip Island for the weekend. What can I say. The place is about as boring as every other seaside place. Stayed in a very tired hotel down at Cowes. How it got a 4 star rating I just cannot say. But it was the only place we could get at the time. And it was only for one night, so that was okay. Did the tourist things - penguin parade and surf beach.

I guess for me, Phillip Island has always had a dubious reputation and maybe that is changing. It has developed into a highly commercial operation. This is a picture of me at Seal Rocks. I do remember being able to walk down to the rocks but now it is all platformed and you view things from there. I know it is for the benefit of the environment and the wildlife, but it does may things a little boring. The penguin parade was sooooo crowded, so full of tourists that I was surprised. At least the money goes back into the parks and wildlife so something good does come out of something so contrived.

S and I entertained ourselves at a kids indoor "thing" whilst K played music at the race track. There was enough for both of us to keep busy for three hours. Have to say, though, that the mini-golf lost it's appeal at 6th hole out in the sun and S kept saying "mum, don't use your feet to move the ball". There was nothing for me to eat but icy poles and a scone and coffee and subsequently I had a headache in the end. Both of us were bored in the end.

LM

Bathrooms

Bathroom tiling is almost finished. Looks very much like a public toilet. Friends are bemused by the fact that we seem to have gone back in time as far as the design and colour go. Personally I think we need lots of colour in our lives and the best way to start is in the morning. Yellow is yummy. The colour of sunshine and sunny days. Having a pedestal basin as well to complete the picture. Even thinking seriously about using that old fashioned mottled glass for the shower screen. Just do not fancy a shivery shower curtain! I am also getting a black heavy toilet seat to compliment the whole blast from the past.

On a much more dull note, I really need to say how much I hate drippy and wet days. You know the days when you step outside and there are lots of piddly puddles that splash up your leg and the rain soaks through everything. Today is one of those days. I think maybe a rainbow may appear as there is blue sky peeping out from behind the clouds.

S is home on the couch with a fever. Naturally I have ensured his diet is super healthy to help in the healing process. He started the day well being force fed muesli for breakfast. He thought it was so disgusting I was worried for a brief moment he was going to vomit it back up into his bowl. Got to work with me and ate fruit cake and cheese sticks. Then, after he fell asleep in the office chair, he came home and finished of the "health trip" with a bag of Smith's crisps, a warm Milo and some chocolate mousse. I did offer a number of healthy alternatives ie. fruit, but he declined. Mmmm, I think he will survive.

I suppose I better start the evening meal. Always something incredibly dull to take up my time. I may follow the cooking with some MORE IRONING as that seems to be my lot! I did three hours the other night and still there is more. I think it is someone elses. It may well be as it appears to be a while since I wore half the clothes and probably do not remember them!

Ho hum

LM

Siesta's

Have decided that a siesta should be adopted into the Australian way of life. Always after I have lunch I am desperate for a 1 hour snooze. I am sitting at my desk struggling to keep awake. My eyelids are saying "let us shut, let us shut out the light" and my head is saying "sleep". Decided instead to have some lollies in the vain hope it may pick me up a bit.

If it were up to me I would start work at 10.00 am, work for 2.5 hours, lunch, snooze for about an hour and then back to work until about 6.00 pm. Of course that would not work for everyone. Actually that is almost what I do.

Feel a need to go shopping soon. Looked at a most delicious website with lovely clothes and think this winter will be an all round spunky one. No more big bellies and bottoms oozing out of too tight clothes in clingy fabrics. Went to a lovely scarf shop and have decided I need to update. Saw the most divine one all pink with embroidered flowers on it. More like a pashmina actually. I really must buy one this year. A lovely pale pink pashmina (sounds like a song) and maybe a gorgeous black one. I love scarves. Oh, and gloves. Soft leather gloves in black or chocolate - maybe one pair of each. The other day whilst sorting through my clothes I realised that I actually own about 15 scarves and have a deep personal attachment to each and everyone of them. Still feel a need to own more though.

Also need to buy a coat. Maybe need is not the word - but want certainly is.

Roll on chilly winds and brisk air, I want those cosy clothes on my body now.

LM